Talk:Day 191-200/@comment-4784862-20150623130043/@comment-173.29.209.190-20150625063510

That's not the only issue, MG. There are just a lot of grammatical errors throughout, not to mention a few passages that could stand rewording for clarity. More than I care to start in on, actually. Sorry.

Well...I guess that's not fair, so I'll note two.

1)

"There’s almost eighty centimeters of snow right now continuing to accumulate as each minute passes by."

There are three ways I can read this. The one that seems most likely is that the amount of snow up to this point has reached 80 centimeters, and it's still accumulating. Simple fix:

"...right now, and it's continuing...."

(Bonus pedant note: since "centimeters" is the object in the first clause, it should start with "There are...." However(!!!), I think it's okay as is, now that I'm aware that the author isn't being grammatically correct in Japanese, either.)

2)

Two-parter:

"...a magic item, utilizing a...." No comma. (Try diagramming the basic sentence structure, and you'll see why.) However, since we're getting rid of the comma, to avoid confusion, it would be a good idea to have some verbal/visual clue as to where the sentence is going (which is probably why there was a comma there in the first place, incorrect though it was), especially considering there's no (need for) punctuation up to this point in the sentence. -> "...a magic item which utilizes a...." (Wait. It's a Japanese WN author. They appear to be utterly incapable of using active verb phrases. So maybe it should be "...a magic item which is utilizing a...." Well, I'll leave that decision to someone more knowledgable.)

same sentence: "...a wind spirit and fire spirit stone...." Is it a single stone that has both wind and fire spirit properties, or is it supposed to be two stones? (I understand Japanese isn't exactly explicit about singular vs. plural. Unfortunately, English is, and we have to know before we fix this.) The former is easy to fix ("...a stone containing both wind and fire spirit properties...."). The latter, not so much. My suggestion (but not the only way!): "...both a wind spirit stone and a fire spirit stone...." (I could reword it better, but it wouldn't fit the author's style. At least as it's been translated so far.)

Again, those are just a couple examples, and just in the first few paragraphs.

I'm not complaining, mind. It's readable enough to get the intent, I think, so I'm happy with what's here. Just noting for anyone who cares that there are lots of errors.

In any cse, thank you for the TL, MIstelone! :)