Talk:Day 21-30/@comment-129.49.231.196-20141216211316

I don't like how this part ended. The this is where my luck turned around should not be there, but at the very end. It's as if she already knew that she would be saved because she saw a black hob-goblin. When the situation still has not changed. Also the fact that she automatically gets attracted when logically fear of being rape should still be in her mind.

The ending should be more like


 * As we approach the cave we could see many Goblins but one caught my attention. A body that was colored in black, I could hardly believe my eyes. I have heard rumors of seeing brown skinned goblins living in mines. Usually their skin should be green. It isn't a dark black which paints a picture of darkness. This black one must be protected by one of the Gods. A subspecies that appeared after Rank Up. As I think that the black Hobgoblin approaches and begins to speak.

"Those women. Can you release them into my custody?"

On the surface was he is gentle-looking, but as he speaks an overpowering voice was heard.

(Assuming she didn't hear it) There seems to be a dispute going on, with both groups readying for battle. Maybe the God of Fate is smiling upon me, there maybe a chance to escape!

(Assuming she did hear it) It seems I may have some luck after all, the black hobgoblin seems to want us. Though I do not know what he will do I may have a better chance if I stick with him, at best him may let me go, at worst... let's not think about that.



- The reason why I believe the destiny part should be left out is because it hints too much on the fact that she will become something later on. Where as all we do know about her is that She was the spoils of war, and that he will protect them since the forest can be dangerous.



Also to add on to why she would not just lust for him immediately is because the group was too afraid to open up until a little while later, where Rou slowly opened up to them. It was then that she felt safe, she most definitely did not want to be raped.